Viva Las Vegas!!!

I was in Sin City!

I spent a week there at Planet Hollywood. I love that place. I went there with my sister Angie and our other sister, Diana, flew in from California to join us. It's rare that the three of us are ever in the same state so it was a treat. The main reason for this trip is to visit a family member who is quite ill and won't be with us for very much longer but at the same time, we wanted to make it as much a positive trip as possible so we had a sister get together :)


My sisters, Diana and Angie

We ate, drank, played the slots, won money and lost money. We had some deep discussions, humorous events and were able to bond a bit.  All in all it was a good trip but the reality is that Vegas is OK for 3 or 4 days, anything after that is overkill, for me anyways. Care to ask what the weather was like? Our first day there it was 114 degrees!! I know that I live in S. Florida and it is always hot and humid but 114 degrees in Las Vegas feels like having your face and body in front of the muffler of an old car while it's running. It was HOT and the desert scenery matched. I missed my beautiful beach :) I guess that in the end I can't deny my islander genes :)

Las Vegas, you were fun but I'm glad that I am home.....♥ ♥ ♥ 

When you become your parent's parent.

When growing up I never really stopped to think about my parents getting old and not being able to do for themselves.  When you are young you see the world as a place that you can conquer and ready to make your own. You see your parents as examples and anchors in your world. My parents were always self sufficient, business owners, very, very hard working and always moving forward. They immigrated from Cuba during the Castro Communist revolution. My sister and I would always say that our parents achieved more in the first 12 years of coming to America than she and I have our whole lives combined. Unlike us, they knew what it was like to have your home taken from you, your land confiscated with no payment in return, friends killed because of their political views, your freedom ripped from your very existence and your own government being the culprit. When you come from a system like that you find yourself incredibly blessed to go to a new Country and have a job, any job and to be able to have that second chance despite many humiliations, demeaning encounters and trying to fit in where even your native tongue is not understood.  Think about it.  It's not easy to assimilate yourself in a new Country where even the language is different but they did.

As I got older, I married, had children and still never gave my parents getting sick much thought until this last year.  My father died unexpectedly of cancer last summer.  It happened very fast.  He went into the hospital, called me that day, three days later I was on a plane to California and ten days after that he was dead.  There was no time to analyze, think, plan, it just happened.  From one moment to the next I went from being the mother of three daughters to now also being my mother's mother. What I mean by that is that for the first time, she was completely helpless and I had to take over. I brought her home with me and am trying to get her to move on with her own life. That has proven to be a bit more difficult than expected. The last few months have consisted of one doctor appointment after another for her, showing her how to get from here to there, taking over every aspect of her life financially and beyond. Many times I feel like I have no time for me but then I feel so bad for her knowing that she is lost at the moment so I keep moving forward.  I feel as if she is a child and in many areas she is. She was never an independent woman.  You can thank my dad for that.  He was very old school.  He took care of her needs and she was content.  The only problem with that is that the same way I never thought of becoming her parent, she never thought she'd ever be without him and I am not him. I worry about her even when I get mad at her and I do, I admit it but I try to force her to do things on her own, to think on her own.  I worry like a parent worries about their child on the first day of school. Unbelievable. I see that her mind is not there.  She repeats the same stories over and over and asks the same questions several times.  She says her mind is not right since my father died but I wonder if it is more than that.   She now has a new home and it's time to move forward. 

Now I find myself thinking about my own age, my own illnesses and the realization that the circle of life continues with or without us.  How do I feel about this new found reality?  I've always been a "cup half full" kind of woman so I am thankful for what I do have and for waking up every morning being able to function and appreciate life. On the other hand, I find myself adding on to my bucket list faster than I can write, that list that I never felt a need to make before all of this. :)  Then there is the thought that I too will be my mother one day and my daughters will have to deal with what I am dealing with now. The independence issue that I have with my mom is not one that they will have to worry about, old age is old age. It reminds me of a bumper sticker that I used to laugh with my father when we'd see it. It read: "Be good to your kids, they pick out your nursing home."  We used to laugh and make jokes about it.  Somehow that bumper sticker is not so funny anymore.

And life goes on................